It seems that the girls and I have/are coming down with something.  On Sunday at church, Lauren was out of sorts and really whining, this continued over into Monday but she seemed to perk up a bit today.  Martha was not herself yesterday and we all had a dreadful Monday night into Tuesday.  Firstly I fell asleep before 2100hrs absolutely exhausted and missed the second part of Messiah (I've managed to watch it on BBCi website - fantastic!).  Lauren woke around midnight after kicking her covers off and then Martha woke around 0200hrs.  She didn't have a temperature or anything but was really distressed and I just couldn't settle her.  I was so so tired that I decided to bring her into our bed (something I've only done on a handful of occasions and it scares me and I don't sleep properly but at least I rest and am more comfortable).  This didn't work after about 20 minutes when she realised that Peter was next to me and wanted him (he has to leave for work at 0600).  I decided to put her back in her own bed and tried to let her cry for a bit in the hope that she would settle down herself.  Alas this completely backfired and Lauren was now awake and in our room saying that Martha had woken her up and was keeping her awake.  It ended up with Lauren sleeping in our bed with Peter and I slept in Lauren's (very small) toddler bed with Martha who ended up falling asleep but I woke up at 0700 after probably the most uncomfortable nights' sleep of my life.  Lauren woke around 0730 bright as a button after having a great sleep.  Tonight (Tuesday) she declared that she didn't want to sleep in her bed anymore but with daddy in the big bed - oh dear!

 

She made me laugh and laugh at bedtime whilst putting Martha down for her sleep.  Every night we all sing "twinkle, twinkle" in the dark room so we can see the glow in the dark poster and then we exchange kisses and hugs.  I said to Lauren after the singing, "are you going to say "goodnight" to Martha?", "No" Lauren replied, "I've run out of kisses - look!" at which point she purses her lips and pulls some very strange faces and makes funny noises.  She really makes me laugh!!

 

I'm off to bed now and hopefully we'll all enjoy a good night's sleep! 

The last few days have been very trying with the girls for a number of reasons.  Lauren's behaviour is getting better which is great.  I seem to be struggling with hormones at the moment which is actually quite alien to me, I have had Evening Primrose Oil Capsules and B6 Supplements recommended to me so am going to get some when I'm near the pharmacy on Friday - I hope they work for me as well as they seem to have worked for others I've spoken to!!

 

I've taken some funny photos of Lauren & Martha playing in Martha's dolls' travelcot which we bought for her Christmas.

The day started well but went seriously downhill towards the end.  I was very pleased to make progress towards one of my resolutions for 2008 - "Get more involved in the community", this morning at Church, I offered to boost the dwindling numbers of the "ladies" who clean the Church.  I'm really looking forward to it and hope that it will get me more integrated into the community as I'll see more people on a regular basis.  I think that living where we do I have to make much more of an effort than I have done previously - we don't get people popping in "as they were passing" as no-one really passes our house, they pass the lane end but it's an farm track which is bumpy and veeeerrry long so I think that stops people dropping by on a whim, which can be a blessing and a curse!!

 

Not going to spend too much time on where/when things went downhill but needless to say, Lauren's behaviour was at the centre and poor Martha (and I) were at the recieving end.  Many tears have been shed by all 3 of us today and I struggled to keep to my first resolution about showing my family respect each and every day.  I really felt like I needed Tanya Byron or similar "coaching" me through situations this afternoon but then I realised I was on my own and just had to do what I could.  By bedtime, we all had kisses and hugs with apologies from Lauren all round - I feel better about going to sleep tonight now, I hate bad days not being resolved (even with 3 year olds!).

Peter left us mid morning to drive down to his friend Marks' house near Peterborough.  I think the communication broke down somewhere and I was surprised at his going so I was feeling a bit out of sorts today not having him around as I expected but kept ourselves busy taking delivery of a £200+ ASDA.com grocery order - hurrah we have food to eat, wine to drink and detergent to launder!!  The girls get very excited when the shopping arrives, I honestly do feed them, although you'd never believe it when you hear Lauren shouting "look mummy, we've got food!!" followed by Martha's very high squeals and "yum, yummy yummy!!".

 

Decided to be lazy and have pizza night since it was just the 3 of us and the girls loved it!  I made potato wedges (I've just discovered you can buy mixes to put on your wedges, how quick is that?!  I used to make my own which did taste nice but took me a bit longer) and garlic dough balls.  On a Saturday, I let the girls watch television during dinner as it normally coincides with All New You've Been Framed.  Lauren and Martha especially love the baby and animal sections and we all grimace at the accident ones, even Martha now shouts "ow" ok, about 30 seconds after everyone else but she is so adorable when she tries to join in.

 

Martha's latest party pieces include doing forward rolls at every opportunity (then giving herself an applause), kissing and hugging, dancing (very well in my humble and obviously unbiased opinion!) and running with her elbows raised high and out to the sides (Lauren used to do the exact same thing - is this a regular developmental thing!?).

 

I went to bed and as I was alone, stayed up reading Fortean Times (thank you Jan & Nigel!) until I fell asleep.

I decided to not put Martha in her pushchair for our weekly run up and down Pateley High Street.  It was actually ok, a lot easier than getting the pushchair in and out of the car and shops but I did have my friend there to help control her! Martha takes a great delight in picking vegetables from the tubs in Elliots deli, she was also attracted to the plastic bottles of freshly squeezed orange juice and a poor woman ended up with two bottles in her basket before I could round her up!

 

The weather was so cold and windy that we decided to cut short our trip and headed back to ours for fresh coffee and yummy biscuits!  We waited about an hour then headed back down to playgroup to collect the girls.

 

Lauren's behaviour is going through a rather unpleasant phase at the moment, it hasn't lasted long only a matter of days but it is distressing, annoying and tiring to be party to - thankfully she saves it for when she's at home!  I'm hoping it's the change back to playgroup and will calm down by next week.

Today I managed to get the last area of disorganised sorted and feel very happy.

 

Lauren made me laugh a few times today.  The first one was this morning she was talking to Grandma on the phone and she picked the telephone up saying "Happy New Christmas Grandma, what are you doing just now".

 

We've started keeping Lauren up a little bit later than Martha for two reasons, one she isn't really tired at 1900hrs and two she has some supper.

 

I asked her to tidy her toys away before supper which took a veeeeeery long time!  Once she'd finished she had a bowl of Cheerios for her supper.  Afterwards she ran into our bedroom where I was on the PC ordering our online groceries.

 

Lauren:  "Right, now what's going to happen? Do I get a treat or nothing? It's your choice"  This was all said with hands either on hips or folded across her (I can't remember which!) but was so very funny in the words, tone and body language!!

 

Martha has started to say a few more things, this week she has said "ted" quite a lot but her speech isn't as developed as Lauren's was at the same age but I'm not letting it bother me too much....yet!

Today was a very exciting day for me.  I have decided to get some help with the housework and this morning Sylvia started.  My friend dropped her off around 1000 and she worked solidly for nearly 2 hours!  It was lovely to be able to get on with jobs myself (ie our unorganised bedroom) knowing and hearing the other jobs that usually take precedence being tackled.  I'm amazed at how much we both managed to achieve in a relatively short space of time.  I'm going to have her over once per week doing in-depth cleaning until the house is spotless then have her every fortnight to help me maintain it.  The fact our house is fairly small is both a blessing and a hindrance, on one hand it doesn't take long to hoover the entire house but on the other, a cushion or sofa is out of place and it's really noticable!

 

I really do beleive that for me, having a tidy house contributes greatly to my overall mental wellbeing - I keep myself awake at night when things aren't right which as you can imagine turns into a vicious cycle of being tired, too tired to do major cleaning, sleepless nights, too tired ad infinitum.

Lauren returned to playgroup today.  We were both very much looking forward to it, Lauren as she wanted to see her friends and myself as I was desperate for normality and routines to be back!

 

It was nice to come back and get jobs done whilst Martha slept and I feel so much happier for it.