I've been looking forward to today all week, I can't believe how much I enjoy the Mum & Toddler group at church.  It's really nice to have the regularity and social activity, it feels like my mental well-being has turned a corner over the last couple of weeks.  It was really starting to feel like the fear would never end.

 

This afternoon I took Martha back to the HV to check her weight status and was AMAZED to discover she now weighs 15lbs 14oz - she's gained a whopping 10.5oz in the last week - I don't think I need any further proof that she needed to be weaned!  As a celebration, we are going into Pateley Bridge tomorrow to the Pharmacy to get some 1st stage breakfast food for her - Lauren used to love the packet porridge!

 

Tonight we sat down to dinner together to enjoy a lovely meal of home-reared lamb chops (thanks Amanda!).  I'm trying to explain to Lauren where our food comes from and how the lambs she was playing with earlier in the year were now on our plates.  I think she understood as she spent her dinner saying "thank you lamb" with every mouthful!  I've been having debates with a few people who think Lauren is too young to understand/learn about life's cycle, but she seems to have a grasp of life and death at such an early age I don't want to tell her lies about what she eats, sees or hears.

 

Lastly, a big THANK YOU to all those supporters who have contact me following the negative breastfeeding encounter - you've all made me determined not to let them get me down and feed proudly on!!!

This morning, Lauren, Martha and I went to see our very good friend Kath, she is like family to us and we love spending time with her.  Lauren & I baked some fairy cakes (complete with fancy icing, sprinkles etc) which we took to Kath as she has recently had an operation so thought they would cheer her up.  They certainly did and we all enjoyed eating them with lovely cups of tea.

 

Kath's house is very much like a doll's house with beautiful furniture and a huge range of precious dolls and ornaments that Lauren loves to look at and touch very delicately.  She also has a piano which is the first thing Lauren runs for after hugging Kath.  Today, she asked us to play "Eye of the Tiger - Survivor" which is a bit too advanced for my basic piano skills!  I'll have to get the sheet music and have another go!

 

We had to leave when Lauren got tired and starting clawing Martha, but we plan to see her a few times before Christmas to help her get ready as she loves Christmas as much as I do!!

Today has been a rollercoaster.  Lauren has been complaining of a sore back for a few weeks and Peter & I thought it was because she was scratching it and it was the tender skin.  A couple of weeks ago I thought I'd pay close attention to it, and as a result today I took her to the surgery to check it out.  The Dr transferred us straight to hospital for lumbar x-rays and now we have to wait an agonising week for the consultant to write his report.  It's so worrying that she might have hurt it badly or that there is something wrong, I feel so helpless and time is going so very slowly.  She is still a very happy little girl and it doesn't seem to cause her pain constantly which is great.

 

Experienced (or at least I think I did) my first negative breastfeeding situation following our trip to hospital.  We popped into the cafe in Morrisons which was very, very quiet and I decided to feed Martha (very discreetly), two elderly ladies started to have a much louder discussion with huge emphasis on the words "disgusting", "private", "not in our day".  I know I may be paranoid but when I happened to turn around (I was mainly back to them but slightly turned for my elbow), they were staring and glaring at Martha & I.  Peter returned a few minutes later with our lunch and gave me the moral support to re-start feeding Martha.

 

Websites of the Day:

 

What a great day we've had today.  We got up nice and early and set off for Peter's sister's house near Wycoller, Lancanshire.  Lauren had great fun playing outside with her cousins and their 2 friends - Martha enjoyed all the attention!  Amanda kindly highlighted my hair with the cheapo highlight kit I bought from Home Bargains (previous blog entry!), I'm really pleased with the result but there's no way Peter & I could have done it!!

 

She cooked us a wonderful Sunday lunch of Roast Beef with all the trimmings which Lauren wolfed down!  Whilst we were busy eating, Laura and Kev were making their way down to our house before the reached their final destination of Julie's in South Wales.

 

It was great to see them and we had fun on the webcam talking to Julie.

Peter is on call today so it was lovely to have it at home spending the day with us.

 

We all got up and organised early and were out the door at 9am and visiting Peter's old customer down the lane.  We all enjoyed each other's company for about 45 mins and then left to head into Pateley Bridge to do our weekly fresh produce shop.

 

Lauren loves going into the grocer's Elliot's and filling the paper bags from the buckets of fresh potatoes, sprouts, carrots etc.  It is really a step back in time the grocers I recall when growing up.  They have shelves all around the fairly small store stacked with all sorts of "storecupboard" essentials and the most wondeful cheese cooler.  We ordered our plain square Christmas cake, which will be collected first week of December ready for me (and Lauren no doubt) to marzipan and ice/decorate.  We also picked up our Christmas Order Forms from Elliot and Kendall's, the local family butcher.  We were excited to learn that the library are hosting their first storytime in December and Lauren is cordially invited being the most regular child visitor!

 

Once we returned home full of excitement of impending snow, winter scenes and Christmas, we decided whilst eating Kendalls lovely pies to reconfigure the lounge/dining/playroom/study area to try and make as much floor space as possible to allow us to bring the family banqueting table out of storage ready for our Chrismas guests (Peter's parents and Mum & Alan).  Following last year's not to be repeated Christmas, I am adamant to carry out last year's plan to have the Christmas experience I recall as a child and was thrilled that mum accepted our invitation, so she can join in the fun and excitement.

 

The lounge looks a lot better, it no longer is a small room trying to be 4 different ones but has become what I suppose is modern (rather revived!) open plan living.  It will be wonderful, hopefully after Christmas to get the staircase in and bedrooms created upstairs - the log cabin will effectively be doubled instantly, giving us so much more room to spread out and enjoy.

I have been waiting for today for 2 weeks - the collection of Lauren and Martha's first "proper" photographs!!  Thank you to Tempest Photography for the beautiful result that can be seen below.  Even Peter got emotional (in the Yorkshireman style!) when he saw them!!

 

 

 

 

 

Saw some more lovely photos of my new nieces today - thanks Mum!  They are already changing and are still so beautiful.

 

My own children gave me a horrible fright this morning whilst I was looking at the above mentioned photos, it suddenly went very quiet from the direction of Lauren and Martha (who was in her bouncer).  I popped my head over the sofa and discovered Lauren was sharing her Hula Hoops with Martha.  What a fright! I don't think I've run so fast for the last 12 months-it was a very scary moment trying to get a soggy hoop out of Martha's mouth without pushing it further in.  Managed to get the hoop out intact and burst into tears!  Oh dear, I think I need to toughen up, how do other mum's (or dad's) cope with such events? (I'm sure I'll have more).  Any suggestions, please let me know!!

 

Update:  Just popped into the kitchen and returned to Martha's face/head being covered in stickers by Lauren!  All the time Martha is giggling away at Lauren - such innocent love!!

Today has been filled with pain.  Yesterday Lauren jumped on my back whilst I was leaning into Martha's bouncer.  It was sore at the time but by jove did it get worse. I'm not 100% certain it was the jumping that caused the pain but it seems very likely.  In the early hours of this morning, Lauren cried because she'd lost her dummy (it was next to her head on the pillow!!).  I lent down to get it for her when I felt (and I'm sure I heard) a pop in my lower back then a pain shot out from out to each side.  I fell to my knees trying to call for Peter as quietly and effectively as I could crawling out of the room as I couldn't stand up to switch Lauren's light off - what a sight!!!

 

Back pain is like toothache or labour. You can't describe to anyone fully how it feels, but you know how painful it is when whomever you tell winces in empathy with you.  I'm off to bed now to try and rest before the night shift starts.

 

I HATE COMPUTERS!!  I installed Windows XP Pro on Saturday thinking it would be so much better than my antiquated Windows 98 - Ha!!  I think I have fallen victim to the "grass is always greener" bug and been eaten by the ride on mower!  No sooner had it been installed I encountered my first "failure", a second, third and fourth followed in quite quick succession and before long I was panicking over my actions - "can I undo it?", "where's the 98 disc?", "Stop it!", "I hate computers!", "oh no, please don't show me that screen" - you get the idea.

 

I stumbled across the Uninstall Win XP program whilst clumsily trying to get rid of everything I have on the PC that Win XP didn't like (which was most of it).  I uninstalled as quickly as I could and swore never to repeat the horrible exercise again.  I couldn't connect my webcam for longer than 30 seconds which meant I missed out seeing my new nieces and had to wait nearly 2 days to see them "live" as opposed to photos.  Glad (and relieved) to report I am now back to my trusty 98 and I will not be straying again.

 

Other things that have happened over the last couple of days are:-

 

Lauren has demonstrated a wonderful early ability to follow dance steps.  Ok, it was the "Cha Cha Slide" but I was very impressed that she slid, stomped and cha cha'd at the right times rather than the usual 2 year old jump up and down dance her friends do.

 

Martha is now able to roll from her back to her tummy, laughing whilst she does it!  I can't believe how quickly she's growing.

 

Martha (as you will see from above) has started to really laugh now, it is very funny but her growling is the best!!  I think she keeps doing it because she knows it makes Lauren and I laugh.

 

Found out today Laura and Kev are going to stay with us on Sunday on their way to Wales, it will be wonderful to see them both.

 

Website of the day:   www.videojug.com

It is soooooooo windy!!!  I love theatrical weather and today we have it in abundance.  The wind is howling through our little wood and the rain is hammering us from all angles. When you look down the valley, all you can see is swirling rain - it's wonderful!  It makes me feel very cosy inside our log cabin, I can't wait until the snow, it looks so beautiful.

 

I was very, very grateful to Brad for sending us some photographs of he and Julie's beautiful daughters (see photos section!!).  They are so perfect, tiny and very innocent.  I knew they weren't identical twins but I expected them to look a bit alike but they appear to be so different.  I can't wait to see them, I didn't think it was possible to get more excited until I saw the photos!!!

 

Peter's ex work colleague Mark visited us this afternoon on his way to a job in Preston at midnight!  It was good to see him and Peter enjoyed having him here to have some "male" time tinkering with helicopters.  Peter is now waiting for a break in the weather so he can get the heli flying as opposed to sitting on our bedroom drawers!!

 

 

 

Our day comes second to the arrival of my latest nieces, I can't believe that we have added more girls to the pool!! Mum has 4 daughters and 7 Grand-Daughters!!  It must be a record.  I think the only way to get boys into our family is to marry them!!   I'd love to have another baby (or even babies), but Peter isn't too keen (just now!!)

 

Peter had a quick job to do in Preston today, so he suggested we all go and travel down a bit to Blackpool!  We jumped at the chance to get out and see a bit more of the world.  We've had a great day and the girls are sleeping soundly with the little bodies full of lovely sea air!  I hope we sleep just as well tonight.  Lauren had a lot of fun in the penny (now 2p) slot machines and we found one that was a fairy castle where you had to shoot your 2p into areas to win tickets.  We exchanged the tickets (thank you to the nice couple that gave Lauren theirs to add to her collection - a random act of kindness), for an actually quite nice ceramic tiny coffee mug that Lauren is going to use to drink her tea from, we also got good old bubbles!!

 

I have never ever been to a "product party" but tonight that all changed!  My very good friend Sharon invited me to her Avon party and myself and my other friend Penny went along and had a really great time.  Do they still do Tupperware parties, I would love one of those or a "storage solutions" party - I think I may get addicted!!

 

On route to meet Penny, I called my sister Julie who thought she was having contractions. I was so glad that we had spent some time on the telephone together that afternoon going through breathing exercises and talking about labour - I recieved a text message at 21.20hrs saying that she was on her way to hospital with contractions every 6 minutes!

 

It has been a really good day today.

I am so happy that Lauren keeps her tantrums until her only audience is Peter or I.  Lauren's friend came around this afternoon and after 30 minutes of silence suddenly became a whirlwind!  I don't think Lauren knew quite how to deal with her messing up her toy area she so lovingly tidied up!  To escape the bedlam (and numerous ear bashings with books), she asked me to take her to bed, I then saw her on the CCTV sitting quite happily on her bed having a conversation with teddy!  I am pleased that Lauren feels so safe in her bedroom but sad that she felt the need to escape her own home.

 

I sometimes (actually often!) wonder if the fact Lauren no longer sees a lot of people since the childminder finished in August, is affecting the very good social skills she acquired up until that point.

 

Peter is still away, but had a really enjoyable night on webcam with Julie and Brad listening to our shared music and reminising the 80's!!

This has been a week full of laughs so far and it's only Tuesday!

 

Stupid food label on a portion of peeled and cooked prawns - this product may contain shellfish !! Not "shell" but "shellfish"  what on earth have I been buying?!?!

 

I also had an embarrassing webcam audio moment whilst online to Julie and Brad!  Please note, webcam microphones are very sensitive - I'm still blaming Baby Annbel and I'm sticking to it!!!!  We all laughed and laughed, it has been a while since I laughed that much and it felt good.

 

Another positive thing this week was my counselling session on Monday.  Basically we discuss the achievements I have made since our last session (things like driving in the dark, driving with family in the car etc).  I didn't realise how many I had accomplished and it feels like I'm starting to see a glimmer at the end of the tunnel.  It's a big difference from this time 3 months ago, and has feels like a cloud has been lifted off me.

 

Peter is working away this week and I miss him already.

 

Lauren is saying more and more new words/sentences every day - I can't keep up!  New ones are:- Blowout, Cheeky Monkey, Martha is crying Mummy, ice-cream, shortbread, Quavers (what a wonderful diet she has!!!)

 

Bargain shop of the day = Home_Bargains

 

An extract from my bill

 

Cappachino 10pk                                           0.89 (it's ok - I can't afford my Tassimo machine yet!!)

Ylang Ylang Bathroom Cleaner                        0.69

Multitask Lavender Cleaner                             0.69

Hair Highlighting Kit (Jerome Russell)               3.99

Bouchard Fridge and Microwave Wipes             0.89

Pack of 3 Microfibre Cloths                              0.99   (this includes a special window one!)

Learning Colouring Pad (ABC) for Lauren          0.79

Olbas Oil for Children                                      1.80

Airbrush Nails Set (false nails - fancy design)    1.99

Playstyle Giant Doodle Pack                            0.99 (this has to be the biggest bargain - there's a ton of paper, cutouts etc in it!)

 

A load of other stuff that I can't mention because it's coming to a sister for Christmas but the whole bill came to £18.27 - a bargain!!

Today was full of anticipation of mum's arrival and one of my best friend's wedding.

 

We met up with Mum and Alan at 12ish near Boroughbridge then went shopping for bits and fireworks at the supermarket.  We arrived home and started our funtime, whilst Alan was enjoying his football in Hartlepool until Hartlepool lost 0-1 to Barnet!

 

Mum, Peter and I prepared dinner together whilst getting the girls ready for bed and keeping them amused.  With Martha exhausted and in bed very early, our attention was focused on Lauren who, as a 2 year old, loves being the centre of attention!  We were all eating dinner at the table and Lauren became distracted and dropped her yoghurt carton on the floor.  Peter leapt up and started to reprimand her for being clumsy when she discovered that she could see her finger through the bottom of the semi-transparent carton, her attention was immediately diverted and the conversation began "hello finger, hello" "hello finger".  Mum and I could barely breathe for laughing whilst Peter was desperately trying to restore calm - we're sorry Peter but it was just so funny!!!!

 

She then brought mum to tears when I asked Lauren "what has been your favourite thing today?", she thought for a second or two, pointed to mum and said "there".  Well you can imagine my mum's reaction!!!  She is such a funny, lovely, cheeky girl all rolled into one - you never know what you're going to get with her.

 

Later that night Peter & I went to the Wedding reception and had a wonderful time.  Thank you for the outfit Julie!!  Hev looked beautiful and it was great to see them both so very happy.  "Thank you mum" for looking after the girls who behaved perfectly for her - she might do it again!!

Our webcam arrived this morning - another quality eBay purchase!  We had great fun setting it up with Julie and Brad and kept it on nearly all day whilst I was making Banana Bread and Shortbread for mum and Alan's arrival on Saturday.  It was really nice and felt like we'd (nearly!) spent the day together albeit through cyberspace!!  Lauren has got herself so excited seeing everyone on the computer and she's spent nearly all day on it!

 

Martha is still her cheery self and bears no aftereffects from yesterday's immunisations.

 

Lauren is waiting patientely for Grandma's arrival and has been practicing "hello Grandma" around the house whilst not on the computer!

 

Peter came home from work and developed severe toothache after something seemed to "move" in his head.  He was in agony for about 2 hours and we called NHS_Direct who were really good.  He had taken some ibuprofen and paracetamol beforehand and these managed to be enough to get rid of it.  Not 100% sure of what it was but he said he never wants to experience pain like it again - Poor Peter

It's been a very busy day today.  Firstly Lauren & Peter are coming down with something so I had very little sleep last night as Lauren was restless.

 

Lauren, Martha and I went to the Toddler group at church this morning where they arranged for a photographer to come along.  Lauren and Martha were both well behaved and looked beautiful.  The photos will be here in 2 weeks and from the preview I saw, I'm sure everyone who gets one will be so pleased.  I just wish I'd done it before now with Lauren, I didn't expect them to look so different from regular photos.

 

Poor Martha was at the Dr's this afternoon getting her 3rd set of immunisations.  This consists of 3 seperate injections and we were both in tears (obviously Martha more so!) by the end of it.  I wish they could find an alternative like a patch or cream or something even just numb the area beforehand.

 

Lauren's speech is coming on wonderfully she is now able to say 4-5 word sentences which sound so strange and grown up to hear.  She was delighted this afternoon to discover the dairy cows have returned to the field outside out lounge window.  I wonder what we'll be spending the next few days doing?!?

Hurrah!  Just had some welcomed good news.  My work are going to pay me for my accrued holiday (18 days).  I thought I had to wait until I either returned or resigned.   This will come in so handy for Christmas shopping or bill paying!!

 

I wish I could share some of the good feelings with Jan! 

 

Wanted to make Banana Bread today for Mum's arrival (thanks for baby sitting Mum!) on Saturday but haven't summoned the energy yet and it's nearly 4pm!!  I'll list the recipe in my lists in case anyone else always has a huge amount of very ripe bananas!!

We have just returned from our mini family holiday to visit Julie and Brad in South Wales.  We had a great time and it was nice to get away when Lauren and Martha behaved so well and managed to sleep perfectly the entire duration!  We are so used to Lauren being unsettled whilst away from home that we weren't not feeling too hopeful!  I really hope this is a turning point, it'll be wonderful!!

 

We didn't visit a lot of places (apart from the beautician - thanks Julie!!) but from what I did see, the area is somewhere I would love to explore further.  The scenery was breathtaking with beautiful mountains and oldie worldy type villages that you don't see in many places in Britain anymore.

 

I've added some photos for everyone to see.

 

Today has also been a turning point in my long fought battle with Peter over the housework.  He remained focus and surprisingly cheerful this morning to help me clear our "hot spots".  I am now sitting on at a wonderfully clear computer desk looking across to a perfectly (apart from a centrepiece fruitbowl) clear dining table where Lauren, Peter and I managed to eat an enjoyable meal (cooked entirely by Peter!) with Martha looking at us from her bouncer for the first time in about 8 weeks!  We've managed to pay some bills today as well which makes us feel a bit more a peace with ourselves.  I am certainly happier for having both tidy finances and home!!

 

I'm really enjoying Christmas shopping this year.  I think the fact that I have a "wish list" for everyone has made the change, it's no longer a last minute panic and I can spend time searching out items that I really think the person would like according to the general idea given.  I think the fact that I can put more thought into it is what makes it such an enjoyable task!

 

Peter's sister Amanda came over today with her daughters and cut all our hair.  THANK YOU AMANDA!!  The Fort Family are now allowed out in public!!!

Today is the first day of my blog.  I don't intend for it to be wildly interesting or remotely funn, it is simply a diary of what we are up to.  I really enjoy reading my sisters' blog and keeping up to date with what she and her family are doing.  Hopefully I can create a similar thing albeit not as witty!!!

 

This morning was pretty rough, Martha has been waking up every hour or so wanting food so I'm exhausted!  Poor thing is still suffering with a snotty nose so I expect this is why she's struggling to feed just now.  She is still a very happy little baby, who makes you smile even when you are half asleep!

 

Tomorrow we are heading to South Wales to see Julie and Brad.  I should be packing our suitcases but alas I've been sidetracked yet again.  We are all looking forward to seeing them both and going to Wales - it will be my first time there.